Single-Parents.net

WHAT ARE NIGHTMARES?

Nightmares are frightening dreams which most children have at some time or other. They are most likely to happen between 3-6 years of age. Younger children can also have nightmares and about a quarter of 6-12 year olds do. Nightmares are most likely to occur in the last few hours of sleep. On waking from a nightmare, children will usually tell you what has frightened them. Lots of children wake and think that what they have dreamt is real. With comfort they can usually return to sleep.

WHAT CAUSES NIGHTMARES?

Most children have nightmares. Nightmares often seem to be linked with things that have happened during the day, or with worries or fears. Dreams and nightmares are normal ways for people to deal with their worries. As children gain confidence in dealing with the problems of growing up, nightmares tend to get less. If they are happening a lot, think about what is going on in your child's life. For example, has there been a recent upset in the family (break-in, death, loss of job, parents arguing)? Has there been a recent separation due to starting child care, school, going to hospital or a parent starting work? In the 3-6 year age range children develop a vivid imagination in their day time play and sometimes have nightmares about monsters and robbers.

What parents can do

• Mostly what children need from parents is comfort and calm reassurance that everything is alright and that they are safe.
• Children can be told that dreams are not real but it takes years for children to fully understand this.
• If children are too frightened to be left alone, you could sit or lie down with them until they go back to sleep.
• Bedroom doors can be left open and a night light left on.
• Some parents gently ask the child to tell them briefly about the nightmare when they awake. It often helps the child to talk about it, but try not to get into long talks in the middle of the night.
• Try to make what is happening in the daytime less stressful if you can. For example, if there are nightmares when toilet training, it might be worth going more gently or putting it off for a while.
• TV and video can be powerful triggers which disturb children's sleep. Carefully choose what programs your children watch.
• Older children can be encouraged to talk about their problems.
• Evening routines are often helpful in settling children into bed. Wind down the day's activities eg with a bath, story, talk with a parent, tuck into bed and goodnight hug.
• Go into the child's bedroom just before you go to bed, touch the child gently so that he half wakens, and say something like "You are very special and I love you". This often helps to give a restful night and is a lovely way for children to go to sleep.

If nightmares are very disturbing, if they keep happening for a month or two, and if the causes are difficult to work out, then it may help to get some professional advice.

WHAT IS SLEEPWALKING?

Sleep walking usually happens during the first few hours after falling asleep. It usually lasts from 5-30 minutes. Sleepwalking can involve:

• sitting upright in bed
• walking and even running around inside and outside the house
• unlocking doors
• finding and even eating food.

Children have no control over what they do when they are sleepwalking and so they may hurt themselves. This can be very worrying for parents.

Usually there is a family history of sleepwalking. If both parents were sleepwalkers there is a fairly high chance that their children will walk in their sleep. Where there is no family history, there is a much smaller chance that children will walk in their sleep.

When a child is sleepwalking she is likely to have her eyes open, and even to talk to you, although what she says may be hard to understand. Children often pass urine (wee) when they are sleepwalking, sometimes in unusual places. They are usually difficult to waken, although some will wake by themselves. Sometimes they return to sleep in places other than their beds. The child does not remember what has happened.

WHAT CAUSES SLEEPWALKING?

Sleepwalking is more likely to happen if your child has a high temperature or is overtired. Some medicines also seem to have an effect. Sleepwalking doesn't mean that your child has emotional or psychological problems unless there is some other stress in the child's life. As children grow older they sleepwalk less.

What parents can do
There is no special treatment to stop sleepwalking so the important thing is to make sure your child is safe.

• Lock doors and windows, and put heaters, electric cords and any other dangerous objects out of the way.
• If you catch your child sleepwalking, carefully guide him back to bed without waking him.
• Help him to understand that this is a natural thing and nothing to be embarrassed or worried about.

WHAT ARE NIGHT TERRORS?

Night terrors are not the same as nightmares. Night terrors usually (but not always) happen in the first few hours after going to sleep. Children suddenly scream or cry and they look pale and terrified. They don't recognise anyone, and they cannot be comforted. They may breathe heavily, perspire and stare with wide open eyes. Some children get out of bed and run around in a distressed way or even hurt themselves. Afterwards the child will not remember what has happened. Night terrors usually last 5 or 10 minutes.

WHAT CAUSES NIGHT TERRORS?

Children are more likely to have night terrors if:

• they have a fever
• they have a full bladder (need to go to the toilet to do wee)
• they have experienced loss of sleep
• they are taking some medicines.

Usually there is no emotional or psychological problem connected with night terrors in children.

What parents can do

• Don't try to wake your child.
• Stay with her and let her go back to sleep naturally.
• Make sure that she has good, regular amounts of sleep.
• Make sure she goes to the toilet before bed to empty her bladder.
• If there is fever it needs to be treated.
• Keep your home safe.
• If the night terror happens around the same time each night, parents could try waking the child about 10-15 minutes before the night terror usually happens. Keep her awake for just a short while and then let her go back to sleep. For some children this seems to prevent the night terrors.

REMINDERS

• Most children grow out of sleepwalking, nightmares and night terrors.
• Children who wake at night and are afraid need comfort.
• For sleepwalking, make sure your house is safe.
• Keep your child's days as happy and relaxed as you can.