Single-Parents.net

• Reading is something that many of us enjoy and that we need to be able to do. Every time we go out we read signs, labels and directions, while at home we probably read newspapers, books and instructions on how to work the washing machine and video recorder!
• Letting our children see us reading lots of different things such as letters, cards, recipes and newsletters gives them positive messages about reading.
• Our language is the way we communicate with others. It helps us to understand ourselves and to make sense of the world. Reading is an important way to learn language and learn about the world.
• Reading can become a favourite hobby which children can go on to enjoy all their lives.
• Reading and/or story time can be a special time for both parents and children.
• If reading/story time is a warm relaxed time, it not only helps build good relationships but shows that reading is an enjoyable thing to do.
• Stories can help children deal with problems and fears.

Note: If you don't enjoy reading or find it a struggle, you still need to show your children that reading is important. You can have books around the house and you can tell your children that you wish you had had the chance to learn to like reading.

• Books help build language and thinking skills.
• Young children can learn about the world from picture books.
• Showing simple pictures and then saying the name of the drawing or photo in the picture helps even very young children learn what things are called.
• Children can learn many things from books including:
• size
• colour
• shape
• what things look like
• numbers and space. For example, in 'The Three Bears' they learn that there were 3 bears, one father bear, one mother bear and one baby bear; they also learn about big and little and inside and outside. And all this happens through enjoying a story.
• Stories help to develop children's imagination.

• When you read or tell a story which relates to feelings, your child is helped to accept his feelings and to understand how others feel. He learns that he is not alone and that other children may feel the same as he does. This helps him to know that his feelings are OK.
• You can also learn to understand how your child feels when you see him respond to the feelings in the story (eg if he really likes the book about the new baby it may be because it has special meaning for him and is helping him with his feelings).
• When you read a story to your child it can show that you understand how he feels. For example, if you are reading a story about another child (or animal) who is frightened of the dark, it helps your child to know that you understand that it is easy to be frightened of the dark when you are very young.
• Books help to deal with fears. Books about something your child fears can help your child to cope with those feelings. Hearing or reading the story many times can help children manage their emotions. These are the books which you might need to read over and over again if your child wants you to.

• Part of building self esteem and confidence is knowing where you fit in the world. Stories told by parents and grandparents about family history - 'When mummy was a little girl' - help your child to develop his sense of belonging. This is even more important for you if you have come from another place or your family has split up.
• Special story time at bedtime is one of the things that can help your child to prepare for relaxed sleep and enjoy bedtime.
• Books can help your children to escape for a while from the stresses and pressures of their world.
• Most importantly your child will thrive on spending TIME with you. Reading and telling stories to your child can become a very special sharing time which helps your children to learn to love books and to develop a sense of being a lovable person. Many children remember their story times for the rest of their lives.

TIPS FOR STORY TELLERS

Whether you read or tell stories to your children you will be helping them in many ways. It is best if you can do some of both. Some of us don't like telling stories very much, others don't like reading. That's okay - just do what you can.

• Use picture books that don't have any words and make up a story about the pictures for your child.
• Follow your child's lead when you are reading or telling stories so she can be a partner in reading - read the bits that she especially likes over and over again, stop when she wants to stop, skip the bits that she wants to skip.
• Be guided by your child as to what she likes but try out a range of books/stories so she has a choice to explore.
• Lists of suitable books for your child's age can often be found at your library. School and pre-school libraries usually have large selections of books. If you have never been to a library before it could feel strange at first. Try to go on a week day when the library is not busy and ask the librarian to help you find your way through the children's section. Librarians are pleased to show you what the library has to offer and trained to know what books children are likely to enjoy.
• Borrow a number of books each time you go. If your child especially likes one and wants it over and over again, this is the one to buy if you can.
• Browse through bookshops. Often really lovely books can be bought as paperbacks and are not very expensive.
• Buying cheap books from the supermarket is a good way of giving children books they can 'own'.
• Take your children to a pantomime or children's theatre where they will see stories acted out - or go just for fun.
• Give your child books for birthdays, Christmas, name days or just because you want to give your child a special treat. They are great presents.
• Above all, make reading a joyful experience. That's what counts.

• Young babies will enjoy the warmth of your company and the sound and rhythm of your voice, long before they can understand the words.
• Babies can start to learn to enjoy books as you show them brightly coloured pictures and name the objects or sing a rhyme about the picture. They can understand the words that you say long before they can talk.

• Make story time part of your special bedtime routine every night.
• Stories need to be simple and short because toddlers have short attention spans.
• Toddlers enjoy books with colourful pictures, simple rhymes and stories about things they know.
• Very young children often want their favourite stories over and over again and this can be very important to them as they grow and learn.
• Two year olds will often correct you if you leave out a word and will enjoy saying some of the words as they get to know loved stories.

• Let your children choose their favourite books or stories.
• Stories can be acted out by you and your child.
• Children can make pictures or models of stories.
• Ask your children to tell you a story - and listen to them. Show you are interested.
• Stories should not be too long - find books that you can start and finish at the same reading time.
• Take your child to the library and let him select some books to read from the section for his age. He may not like them all, but he will probably like some and he is learning to use a library. You could also ask about borrowing tapes.
• Letting your child choose some of the books to borrow (and choose the stories you tell) will help him to learn that he is a partner in the reading time. He will start to think about books as something he can choose for himself.

• Make story time an occasion for sharing, relaxing and fun. It shouldn't be a reading lesson.
• Don't expect too much too soon when your children are learning to read. It takes a long time for children to read well enough to really enjoy the stories they are reading. Keep reading to your children even when they can read for themselves - there is something special about having stories being read to you.
• Allow your children to choose books they like to read, even if they are not your choice.
• Help children find books about their interests (eg if they love dogs, cars or dinosaurs, look for books on these topics).
• Beginning readers need books with simple words for success and enjoyment. Books that are too hard can put them off.
• All children are different. Your child might not enjoy the same books or be at the same reading level as another child of the same age or do what her older brother or sister did at the same age.
• Don't worry if your children like comics as they get older - it is all part of reading. Once they are confident readers they are likely to move on to reading different things.
• Many children (and adults) like to return to old favourites from time to time, even when they can read much more difficult stories. This could happen especially if they are unwell or unhappy.

CHOOSING BOOKS

The following suggestions can help when choosing books for your child.

Look for:

• books which vary the important roles - some where the prince saves the princess and some where the princess saves the prince
• books which don't assume that people will act in a certain way (eg the man does not always have to be washing the car, the woman does not have to be in the kitchen and people in authority do not have to be the'bad guys')
• books where what happens in the story leads up to the ending (books where the ending is not a shock) - children often enjoy the ending they have been looking forward to more than surprise endings
• a bit of trickery, humour, jumbled words, people getting into trouble (eg 'Clever Polly and the Stupid Wolf') - children enjoy this as long as they can see through it
• interesting words and rhymes - as they get to preschool age children enjoy words and will like stories with some interesting or 'big' words to have fun with
• attention to detail is important (eg the time on the clock, toothpaste on the toothbrush . . .)
• stories about their own hopes and wishes (eg 'Ramona the pest' for a child starting school)
• stories about things children know about (eg children of their own age)
• books that explore the unhappy and cross feelings as well as good feelings about a situation (eg books about moving house should talk about the child being a bit unsure and worried as well as being excited about the new adventure)
• books for young children with happy endings
• fairy stories and folk tales - the reason they have been around for so long is that they are important to children. They are usually not too scary because they are about 'long ago and far away' yet they also deal with some very important life problems (eg moving away from home and family, people dying, feeling insecure). After a scary bit in a story, stop and let your child talk about it. Don't read stories that your child doesn't like. Follow your child's lead about the stories she wants.

Remember, children will want to read for themselves if you let them choose and enjoy books that appeal to them - even if it is not 'good literature'. You can always read them 'good literature' when you select a story. Children who learn to love stories and reading usually want to read different kinds of books as they grow older.

• Try to make time to read to your child every day even if it's just for a few minutes. Bed time is often a good time.
• If you have more than one child you can read or tell stories that they all like (eg family favourites or stories about your own childhood). It is also good to try to make some time to read to children individually.
• Make a life story book for each of your children to show where they have been, what they have achieved and important milestones. This could include things like photographs of special events, a lock from their first haircut, the first word, the first day at school.
• Talk to your children about the things you read (eg in the newspaper) so they can see that reading is important for you.
• Take your child to the local library for story telling sessions.
• Find some toys or puppets that are like the people in your child's favourite story to encourage them to remember and play out the story.
• When your child reads the words on a sign or food packet let her know that you are proud that she is reading.
• Encourage grandparents to tell stories about when they were young.
• Value reading and storytime, don't withdraw it as a punishment.