When, whether, how and what to give for pocket money
is an issue that often concerns parents. There is not just one
way to go. To a large extent it depends on family values and
finances but there are some general points that you might like to
consider in making your decision.
WHY GIVE POCKET MONEY.
- The main reason for giving children pocket money is to
help them learn to be able to manage money while they are
still young and you can still guide them.
- It also may help children to feel that they are important
members of the family because they are given part of the
family's spending money.
- It helps children to make choices and to see that
sometimes people have to wait to get what they really
want.
- It can be a problem if there is not much money to spare
in the family, but even a very small amount can give a
child the feeling of some independence.
- In some families children are just given what they ask
for and pocket money is not considered. If this works
well for your family, there is no need to give pocket
money.
- The age at which you start giving pocket money depends on
your child and you. However check what their friends'
parents are doing so they don't feel too different.
SHOULD POCKET MONEY BE EARNED?
- Many parents believe that if they decide to give pocket
money, a certain basic amount should be given to the
child just because he is a member of the family and not
as payment for jobs. At the same time children are
expected to do some chores as part of their contribution
to the family. These two things are both important but
are separate parts of belonging to the family.
- You may decide to give a certain basic amount of pocket
money and let your child earn a little more for some
special chores, such as washing the car.
HOW MUCH POCKET MONEY?
This will depend on a number of things.
- What you can afford.
- What the pocket money is expected to cover.
- The "going rate" among other families in
similar circumstances to yours. If your child has a lot
less than the going rate she may feel hard done by and be
tempted to steal. If she has a lot more it can cause
resentment amongst her friends.
- Pocket money amounts usually increase as the child gets
older and takes more personal responsibility.
WHAT SHOULD POCKET MONEY COVER?
Again this will depend on what you work out with your child.
In the primary school years you might decide, for example, that
it should cover some saving, some for school lunches and some for
the child to decide just what he wants to use it for. Giving
pocket money and then telling the child exactly what he must use
it for does not develop a sense of responsibility in the child.
You might then have to be careful not to criticise his choices if
you are not happy with them.
Some parents might decide that if the child is doing well with
saving for something special that they will give a hand. For
example they might put in a certain amount for every $5.00 the
child saves. This can be an added reason for your child to save.
POCKET MONEY AND PUNISHMENT
Stopping pocket money often seems an easy answer if your child
has done something wrong. Sometimes this is OK. For example if
she has carelessly broken something it may be important for her
to help pay for the replacement by contributing part of her
pocket money each week.
However taking away all of a child's pocket money, especially
over a period of time, can cause a lot of resentment towards you
and difficulty with friends. Sometimes children in this situation
steal from their parents or friends.
POCKET MONEY AND ADOLESCENTS
Adolescents are moving towards independence and it will help
them if they have some practice in managing money while they
still have your guidance.
Depending on your teenager's maturity you might decide to give
him a spending allowance to cover his entertainment costs and
perhaps to buy his clothes. If he makes a rash decision about
unsuitable clothing it is a very good way for him to learn about
wise spending. It may be that the first time he is in a difficult
situation, you come to an agreement about helping him out. Let
him know that after that he must take the consequences.
Older adolescents often have opportunities to earn some pocket
money from part time work outside the home. How they use this
money varies from family to family. In some families there may be
a need for teenagers to contribute something toward the family or
their own expenses. Generally this money belongs to the
adolescent. When young people begin to work full time many
families would expect a contribution towards board.
You may want to say that the family money is not to be spent
on certain things (eg: cigarettes), but adolescents need to have
some control of their money in order to learn to manage it.
REMINDERS
- Giving pocket money can be a valuable way of teaching
your child responsibility.
- Check with friends' parents to get an idea about the
"going rate".
- Make sure that you are consistent and regular about
"pay days".
- Work out with your children what the pocket money will
have to cover. This should include an amount for them to
do whatever they want with.
- Allow your children to make some mistakes.
- Encourage your children to save part of their pocket
money each week.
- Give lots of approval for successful managing.
