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School can be a strange and scary place for beginners. They usually have to
cope with bigger buildings, lots more children and less adults for support. It is a time
when they start to compare themselves with others. There are likely to be many new things
that they are expected to do. The playtime breaks, especially, can be very frightening for
beginners. School days can be very tiring, too, for children who are used to a rest during
the day. Children may have been looking forward to school a lot and feel very let down if
they don't enjoy it as much as they hoped. Even for those who do enjoy it, starting school
is stressful.
Remember not all children are ready to begin school at the age of five and they
do not have to start school in South Australia until they are six. Some children benefit
greatly from the extra year of maturity before they start school and it can help them to
do better all the way along. Think about this if your child is smaller or younger than the
other children or is not yet really comfortable playing with groups of children or
confident without adult support. Talk it over with the preschool teacher if he has one.
WHAT YOU CAN DO
Preparing for school
It will help your child if you prepare her as well as you can and at the same
time show her that you have confidence that she will manage the new challenges.
It
will help if your child clearly knows where school is in relation to home - if you can,
walk there with your child a few times even if you normally intend to drive. This
will help her to get the school in context of what she knows.
- Introduce the school. Drive past many times. Talk about what will happen.
- Show your child over the school so she knows where she will be going, where the toilets
are (and try them out) and where you will pick her up.
- Prepare your child for what will happen. Make sure she has clothes that she can manage,
that she can unwrap her lunch and that she knows how to ask to go to the toilet.
- Some other things you may need to prepare your child for.
- The school bell and what it means.
- How to drink from a water fountain - press the lever, allow some water to run, then
drink from the water stream not the tap.
- Putting up a hand to ask a question.
- Read a story about a child who just started school, or tell about when you started
school (as long as it has a happy ending).
- If your child is anxious about leaving you, ask her what would help eg who should drop
her off at school, where she wants wants to say good-bye, what she wants to wear etc.
Having some control over what happens helps with fears.
- Sometimes children are disappointed because they think they should learn
to read on the first day. Talk to them about what they can already read
- signs, food packages etc.
At school
- Some children in the early months at school wet their pants. This can be very
embarrassing for them. They need to be reassured that it often happens to children and it
is nothing to worry about. Encourage your child to tell the teacher. Pack an extra pair of
pants if it happens.
- If you are worried, it will make her feel that there really is something to worry about.
Have faith that your child will be able to manage.
- Talk to other parents and share your experiences, ideas and feelings.
- Don't be late picking your child up. A few minutes can seem a long time when you are not
very sure of yourself.
- Make time for your child after school if she needs it, or as soon as you get home if you
work. Some children, however, like a while by themselves before they want company.
- A healthy snack straight after school can make up for a missed lunch due to excitement
or anxiety. This will be as important as eating a big dinner. Children are often hungry
after school and something to eat keeps them going. By dinner time they might be too tired
to really want to eat.
- Listen, but don't ask too many questions. Children will talk when they are ready.
Bedtime is usually a good listening time.
- It helps children if you read stories to them even after they can read for themselves. A
good time to tell stories is at bedtime as well.
- Don't expect too much. New learning takes a long time and children learn at different
rates. You can help best by encouraging, taking an interest and showing you care.
- Be flexible in the early days of school. Children may be tired and grumpy for a while
until they settle in and they need lots of support.
- Keep to routines that allow time for rest and free play. Don't arrange too many after
school activities. Try not to have too many things to do on the way home eg shopping.
- Invite your child's friends over. One at a time at first.
- If your child is really upset, if you are worried, or there is bullying or teasing going
on, talk to the teacher about it.
Note: Some children, when they first start school, find it so stressful that they
don't want to go. They may get tummy aches or be very tearful in the mornings. If this
happens to your child listen to his fears. Try not to let him see that you are worried.
Let him know that you believe that he can manage to go to school and you will help him.
Ask him what he thinks would help eg sometimes going with another parent instead of you is a
help. For another child having something of yours to mind while he is at school will help.
If the worries don't get better soon, talk to the teacher about the best way to help your
child. Forcing children usually does more harm than good.
REMINDERS
- Starting school is a big step for children and it takes time to adjust.
- Reading books doesn't happen on the first day. Remind your children of all the things
they can read such as stop signs, food packets etc.
- Let the teachers know if anything is happening in your family that might upset your
child at school.
- Children do best at school when their parents and teachers support each other.
- Let the teacher know when you are pleased with what is happening at school.
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